Fireworks company advertises in Massachusetts, where they’re illegal
John Vincent
On Further Review
The Fourth of July is coming up on Monday, and you know what that means — everyone everywhere will be celebrating the good old USA, freedom, democracy and the rule of law.
And what better way is there to do that than with fireworks?
Everyone loves a good fireworks show, except for the occasional dog who thinks it’s thunder, with the bright splashes of color that light up the night and make your eyes sparkle.
Back in the day, when I was a boy, Gardner never had any fireworks. They still don’t. Gardner always used to shut down for two weeks, usually the first two weeks of July, I think, and half the city skedaddled to Canada to visit with their relatives, which was not very patriotic, unless you come from Canada.
The two-week shutdown was done mostly by the furniture factories, which are all gone. But I remember working at Simplex one summer in the early ’90s, and they were still shutting down for two weeks. Thus, me and two other guys scored the dirty job of cleaning where no one had cleaned for at least a year, as people were always working there.
Hubbardston, where I grew up, sadly also never had any fireworks.
The closest thing we ever had was a big bonfire that they made out of our old barn and some other construction debris after we moved out of town in ’88.
Anyway, I found it interesting to see that the big Fourth of July celebration they have at the Hatch Shell on the Esplanade in Boston could be endangered, as longtime show producer and sponsor David Mugar is stepping down and was having trouble finding anyone else to sponsor the show this year.
I went to that a couple of times and it was a sight to see, mostly because of the insane amount of people there, plus, of course, the patriotic music, the abundance of red, white and blue, and the fireworks.
I don’t think there’s any towns around here having big fireworks displays.
For some people, that might tempt them to set off a few fireworks themselves. And that’s all well and good, there’s always a few fireworks going off over some neighbor’s house around the Fourth of July, though some go overboard.
But one thing people tend to forget about fireworks is that they are illegal. In Massachusetts, all fireworks are illegal, including sparklers, firecrackers and bottle rockets.
Our former state representative, Rich Bastien of Gardner, tried to change that, even after he left office, by trying to put a ballot question on legalizing fireworks up for a vote, but the attorney general rejected it due to the wording. Fizzle.
So, they’re still illegal.
Don’t tell that to Phantom Fireworks of Hinsdale, London¬derry and Seabrook, New Hamp-shire, though.
They sent me a flier in the mail, to my mom’s house in Bald¬winville, addressed to me, letting me know that all fireworks are on sale and I should “stock up for the long holiday weekend.”
It apparently doesn’t bother them I live in a state where fireworks are illegal.
That’s really just a technicality, isn’t it? It’s legal in most states, with New Jersey and Delaware being the only other states that completely outlaw everything, including firecrackers and sparklers.
And the names don’t make you think anything could go wrong either, with “Molotov Cocktail” (don’t let any terrorists use these), “Bombilation” (the box says “warning: Shoots flaming balls”), “Wicked Pissa” (“a Boston favorite” … forgetting that Boston is in Massachusetts where fireworks are illegal), and, of course, the aptly named, “Barely Legal Lock and Load Assorted Shells” (as in “not legal” if you’re from Massachusetts where you dummies sent the flier).
Am I missing something here? This just doesn’t seem right.
There is a line in the fine print about people from states where fireworks are illegal buying them at Phantom Fireworks, and using them in a state where they are legal, which seems unlikely. So, it’s all hush-hush. Many people just buy them in New Hampshire and say they’re going to use them in New Hampshire. And once they get them in the car, they’re golden.
Fireworks users know that if they get a few nice ones, and don’t overdo it, no one’s really going to say anything. But, if they get a whole bunch of ridiculously loud ones, someone might just call the cops. I might avoid “Crack the Sky,” “Mt. Olympus Thunder” and “Red, White and Boom.” Plus — news alert — it’s been dry out lately, and brushfires are a real danger.
While these people just want to celebrate the Fourth, this law actually is there for a reason. Just this past year, New York Giants defensive lineman Jason Pierre-Paul brought national attention to the dangers of fireworks after blowing off half his hand in a fireworks accident. Countless people have been seriously injured from fireworks.
I myself was once with some people who almost set the woods behind their house on fire with a super-big bottle rocket that went haywire and shot right into an area of dry leaves.
I say, if you’re going to light off fireworks, limit them to a few of the small bottle rockets — or just leave it to the professionals. You can always drive to Boston or someplace else that’s having them, or watch the fireworks on TV, or just stick to the hamburgers and chips and wave an American flag so you can celebrate our independence without injuring anyone. Now that would be a Wicked Pissa.
This column ran in The Gardner News on 7/1/2016.